How Sex is Like Driving
The Third Talk™ Foundation Inc. is a 501(c)3 non-profit, non-partisan, non-denominational non-biased prevention platform.
There is no homework, memorization, CD's, workbooks, or software required.
The real challenge for boys is that they view this content regularly and believe it to be real. Boys as young as 7 years old view online porn, while the average age of first exposure in the United States is about 12. Viewing pornography in large volume, at that age can have immediate, and long lasting effects on the brain development of young men. Porn can physically alter the brain chemistry and make up of the developing brain of young people, and unlimited or unrestricted viewing has shown to have negative effects on young kids. This can manifest itself in shame, fear, and anxiety. In extreme doses, it can contribute to anger, aggression, depression, lack of interest in other people, loneliness, objectification and even assault. We do not provide our boys an alternative message to the content they view, and we all simply allow them to gain their sexual education from online pornography. This can rob a young Man of his own individual interests, and increase the resentment, anger and loneliness he may already be experiencing. He may change his own attitudes toward sexuality before he can spell 'sexuality'.
The obvious and most important challenge for girls, is that aggressive, porn-sex soaked boys, see young girls as sex objects and face an accelerated idea of what initial physical contact should be like for them. Girls may acquiesce to behaviors that may not feel appropriate to them, or submit to larger volumes of interaction, simply to provide boys what they are seeking. This behavior does not come from a place of mutual respect, trust, communication and love. Girls are on the front lines of having to manage these 'damaged' boys. (My word). Additionally girls will watch porn to understand what boys "want", and by doing so give up their own idea of sexuality or physical engagement. This can lead to habitual resentment, anger and a difficulty in forming and maintaining future long term relationships. Girls endure shaming, fat/ body shaming, and sex shaming as early as 7th and 8th grade. We as a parental demographic can do better.
If you are a neighborhood watch group, youth group administrator, PTO, or book club, we want to hear from you. If you are a School Superintendent, Administrator, Teacher or Counselor, even better. It is our intention to work with as many organizations as possible to socialize for parents and teachers the sheer volume of the challenge and the communication-based solution. This is a difficult and necessary topic, and it is not being discussed by parents, schools, churches; the kids...are not going to bring this up. We need to listen. We need to hear what our kids go through every day. We are not the experts, they are. We have got to catch up fast. Please join me to further this new genre of communication.
There are 12,000,000,000 porn videos viewed by 7-17 year olds in the United States every year. Estimates of a 15-17 year old boy's consumption of online pornography range as high as 50 videos a week in 2011. The volume has not gone down in the last 7 years. Parents are unaware of this volume for the most part, and also in denial about their child's exposure. The conversation has historically been very awkward. Some parents will have a talk with their kids about pornography in high school, or as they leave for college, but this is far too late statistically to prevent exposure, and the potential damage that exposure can do to the developing brain of a young person.That's on us.
The Third Talk™ is here to provide parents information on initiating the 'porn' conversation with their kids. It is our history, knowledge and delivery that secure success for families. I personally have had a front row seat while legal, political and 'do-the-right-thing' campaigns have all failed to curb this content's availability to kids. We are just missing the communication piece with young people. That gap was the catalyst to the The Third Talk™. We have been advocates for protecting children from purposefully or inadvertently viewing porn for over 16 years. We take a very direct and purposeful approach when discussing this with kids and grown ups. WE do not use shame, or blame, or use colorful language. We talk about the world our kids live in, not the world we wished they lived in, and how that is 100% NOT their fault in any way. They did not create the smart phone, they did not invent online porn, they did not create the internet. We are all here, now, and our children need us.
"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." - Frederick Douglass
Our fingerprints on the lives we touch never fade
Be The Change
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