Challenges for Boys
The real challenge for boys is that they view this content regularly and believe it to be real. Boys as young as 7 years old have reported viewing pornography. The average age of kids the first time they see pornography is 11 in the United States.
Viewing pornography in large volume, at that age can have immediate, and maybe long lasting effects on the brain development of young men. This can manifest itself in shame, fear, and anxiety. In extreme doses, it can contribute to anger, aggression, depression, lack of interest in other people, loneliness, objectification and even assault.
We do not provide our boys an alternative message to the content they view, and instead allow them to gain their sexual education from online pornography. This can rob a young Man of his own individual interests, and may increase any resentment, anger, frustration or loneliness that he may already be experiencing.
Challenges for Girls
The obvious and most important challenge for girls, is that aggressive, 'porn-sex' soaked boys, can see girls as sex objects, and girls can face an accelerated idea of what any initial physical contact should or could be like for them. This can include sexual violence at the hands of boys. This behavior does not come from a place of mutual respect, trust, communication and love. Girls are on the front lines of managing these 'damaged' boys; (my word) at very young ages.
Girls may preform acts that may not feel appropriate to them, simply to fit in or give boys what boys determine is 'normal'. Girls may watch pornography to understand what boys "want", and by doing so give up their own idea of sexuality. Girls can endure body shaming, slut shaming, prude shaming and sex shaming as early as 7th grade. Either is a tough way to be depicted on social media.
If you are a neighborhood watch group, youth group administrator, PTO, or book club, we want to hear from you. If you are a School Superintendent, Administrator, Teacher or Counselor, even better. It is our intention to work with as many organizations as possible to socialize for parents and teachers the sheer volume of the challenge and the communication-based solution. This is a difficult and yet very necessary topic. Pornography is not victimless, or 'part of growing up' and there is no amount of this content that could be considered safe for our kids.
I encourage you to reach out to us and allow us to showcase for you how we inform parents, and provide them the language necessary, and the tools necessary, to protect their own children.
There are over 12 billion pornography videos viewed by 7-17 year olds in the United States every year. Estimates of 14-17 year old boy's consumption of pornography videos range as high as 50 videos a week.
Parents are unaware of this volume for the most part, or in denial about their child's exposure. However 93% of all boys and 68% of all girls will see this content before they leave high school. Even if your child beats those odds, most of the teens that your children may have contact with while you are not around, may have already viewed this content and may have had no guidance on the very real challenges pornography can present for them. The conversation has historically been very awkward and therefore mostly ignored. This is not Dad's Playboy. This is dangerous for kids, boys and girls.
The Third Talk™ is here to provide parents information and the language to initiate the pornography conversation with their kids. The Third Talk™ has had a front row seat to watch legal, political, legislative, religious campaigns, abstinence pledges and ignoring the problem fail to curb this content's availability to kids.
I say failed because our American children see 12 billion videos a year.
It is communication between parents and kids that will end this challenge. We take a very direct and purposeful approach when discussing this content with grown ups. We do not shame, blame, or use colorful language. We talk about the world our kids live in, not the world we wished they lived in. We showcase that this is an environment that has NOT been created by our kids. Grown ups created this environment and grown ups need to change it.