It’s time to get your priorities straight - The Third Talk

It’s time to get your priorities straight

Is this you? “I really want to talk to my kids about this, but there never seems to be a good time.”  Or, “I keep realizing that it’s time to talk to my kid, but other things get in the way.”  Or, “It’s very important to me, but we just haven’t found the time.”

As your coach, I’m going to be blunt. These are excuses. 

Most of us prioritize productive, results-you-can-see types of activities.  These are things like work, visits to the doctor or dentist, grocery shopping and doing laundry.

It’s a lot harder to prioritize family time, intimate time with our partners, and our own self-care, even though these things bring us greater happiness.

That old story of salvation through work is not going to cut it here.  It’s not going to protect your kids from porn.  It’s not going to prepare them for real-life relationships.

Plus, to get you to do the things you’re not naturally motivated to do, we have invented the deadline.  No homework assignment or executive report would ever be completed without it.  You’ve met deadlines all your life, and been punished when you didn’t, so now it’s second nature.

If there weren’t deadlines and so much work to do, why, you’d sit and have another cup of tea, glass of wine, or slice of pie.  You’d play that pick-up game of basketball, grow tomatoes in your garden, and take up painting.   You’d prioritize your relationships and your own wellness.  You’d have time to talk to your kids about porn.

You see, all that rushing about distracts us from the gnawing feeling that something’s not quite right, that there’s something which needs to be done.

Let’s reprioritize. Here’s how to do it:

  1. Make the commitment.  Tell your child what you want to talk to them about and when.  Get consent to go forward.
  2. Add it to your calendar.  Yes, really.  Block out the time when you and your kid can have a private talk.  Set a reminder notification if you need to.
  3. Turn off your phones.  Whoever is calling you can wait.  So can that email.  You can read that tweet later, too.  If both you and your child turn off your phones together, you’ll make sure there are no interruptions, and you’ll really grab your kid’s attention!

Don’t leave these conversations up to chance.  Don’t get around to it somedayMake it a priority.  Get The Parent’s Guide.

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