Boy & Mom Followup Conversation after The Third Talk™ Consultation

After a The Third Talk™ meeting with John Van Arnam, as a family, the son and the Mom agreed to come in and speak about their experience.

Dad to 12 & 10 y/o boys

“I don’t know of anyone or have heard of anyone that has more knowledge about kids avoiding porn than John. That’s not why I wanted him to talk to my boys. I wanted him to talk with my boys because he has a calm easy manner about him that allows for open communication. I am 100% confident that I couldn’t answer the questions he did.”

Dad to 10 & 11 & 13 y/o boys

“I know I wasn’t having this talk with my three sons. They told me some things, but I never knew how much of this content was available to them. I know filters don’t work. I didn’t have a real plan. We do now.”

Mom to 10 & 13 y/o girls

“I want my kids to have a fun respectful and meaningful sex life. Online porn is not that, it’s the opposite. I wasn’t sure what we were going to do to address it. But Coach John sure did! It was amazing what he was able to share with my girls while making them feel at ease. That (pornography) is a conversation that we now have regularly in our home, and before it just wasn’t. We talk about safety now that is a part of it. I recommend his services highly!”

Mom to 6, 9 & 13 y/o boys

“Call him. Make yourself feel better! We all know porn is out there, but what to do about it? I sure didn’t know, but (John) did! I feel better now. I didn’t expect that part.” (Only spoke to the 13 y/o)

12 year-old boy

“He was funny and his presentation was interesting.”

Parents of a middle school boy

“John’s presentation was extremely valuable. Educating ourselves with our middle school student present supported us as parents to have easier follow up conversations afterwards. It allowed us to have open dialogue as a family that was more accessible since the door was opened in a non-threatening way. John was engaging with the students present and his humor, as well as his seriousness, was captivating. If more students and parents invested in educating themselves around this topic, we believe it would be monumental in tackling this epidemic and lower the risks associated with youth and porn. We highly recommend attending John’s porn presentation with your child.”

Parent of a 12 year-old boy

“This is bad! There is so much porn out there I had no idea. We should be teaching this in schools. I would like to have John come speak at my school, how do I book him at [Elementary School]? Can he call us, my name is [name redacted] and my number is [number redacted]. This is something everyone should hear.”

Parent of a 9 y/o son, 11 y/o daughter & 12 y/o son

“The statistics are crazy. I thought that there couldn’t be a solution to this, and now I know that there is. We saw the ’Third Talk’ as a family and I would recommend that to everyone.” (Did not speak to the 9 y/o)

Dad of a 12 y/o son

“My son just flat old told me he watched porn at the age of 12. I didn’t know what to say because I have watched porn and I didn’t want to sound like a hypocrite. I brushed it off because I didn’t know what to say. I do now. Never again.”

Parent of 11 y/o, 13 y/o & 14 y/o sons

“I didn’t know how to talk about this with my kids. I do now. Thank you.”

Parent of a 8 y/o daughter

“Our Daughter saw hardcore pornography in a tent at a sleepover when she was 8 years old. We saw John speak at our school 4 days later. After that we all spoke together for the first time honestly about what happened. We even went to see John when he came back to our school for the second time. He just opens up conversation in a way that isn’t scary.”

Parent of a 11 y/o son

“You should just go see him! John’s humor and rapport with the kids in the room gave us all an ease and honesty that was as easy for my husband and I as well as our son. I couldn’t stress enough how easy and non-threatening this was. Go see him, you’ll feel better!”

Teenage Boy

“I saw porn at my friend’s house. I wanted to talk to dad about it, but knew he’d get mad. Mr. Van Arnam helped me and my dad talk about what happened. It was cool.”

Girl, 15

“The Third Talk has given me confidence. I want to date, but not if he’s watching porn and not interested in me as a person. I now know what to ask and what to look for. I told my friends about it.”

Girl, 12

“I asked my mom about sex and she told me, ‘Just don’t have sex.’ Then I saw porn at a friend’s house and had more questions. Seeing (The Third Talk) with my family, brought us closer together. We talk now, and that feels a lot better. It was weird, but worth it.”

Parent of a 12 y/o girl and a 14 y/o boy

“It’s so hard knowing what to say to your kids about sex, then throw in pornography and you feel paralyzed! John was so great talking with me and my kids that he opened a door to a whole new relationship between us. I can speak plainly, and my kids will listen and even communicate back!”

Boy, 13​

“I watched porn to know what sex is. There’s a lot of it on the internet, but he (John Van Arnam) talked to me and my dad and now I know it’s not real. It wasn’t that bad talking about it really, I feel better.”

Parent of an 13 y/o boy

“My young son was showing signs of being really withdrawn. I’d ask him what was wrong, but he wouldn’t talk to me. John Van Arnam came to his school and we went and listened. My son opened up for the first time and told me a friend had shown him pornography. He was really confused about it. We are now having a conversation we might never have had, and I owe that to seeing The Third Talk. If you haven’t found a way to do that go see him (John).”

Boy, 14

“I am kinda shy, so when I saw pornography I was really just interested in learning about girls. It didn’t help me talk to girls at all. It (The Third Talk) helped me understand that I don’t need to watch porn to know about girls.”

Mom of a 13 y/o girl and a 12 y/o boy

“I did not know how to talk to my kids about pornography. It’s totally embarrassing and I didn’t want to be the reason they found out about it and maybe started watching it. John confirmed my fear that they might have already been introduced to it. They had been and much earlier than I thought. We were able to talk about it and why they shouldn’t watch it. I think the “why” was the most important part; no matter what their friends say. Thank you, John, for making this conversation significantly less painful!”

Girl, 12

“My cousin tried to show me pornography on his computer while our parents weren’t around, and I knew I wasn’t supposed to see that. I was embarrassed to talk to my Mom, so I didn’t say anything. Mr. Van Arnam came to my school and said it’s okay to talk about it with my Mom and Dad. I finally was about to say something without them getting mad at me.”

Boy, 14

“Sex is scary. They (The Third Talk) said that some guys have trouble performing because they are addicted to porn. I don’t want to be that guy.”

Dad of 11 y/o twin boys

“I heard about The Third Talk through a friend and went to the website. It’s really logical to talk with our kids about this, but knowing how? I thought it was going to be strange and uncomfortable, but John’s consultation made it so easy! Honestly I cannot believe that I waited as long as I did. If you have boys, and you haven’t spoken to them about porn yet, you should call him (John). ”

Girl, 13

“I’ve seen porn for a few years. I first walked in while one of my stepsister’s friends was watching it. Until he (John) talked to me and my mom, I didn’t know how to talk about it without feeling like a tattle tale. Now I know that talking about it is important.”

Mom of 12 and 13 y/o girls and 15 y/o boy

“If you have kids and you’re worried about them seeing pornography and learning about sex in the most inappropriate way, you have to schedule him (John) to talk with you and your children. It is a great investment, and it was so much more relaxed than I could have ever imagined. I worried about it for months and months and never did anything about it. I want to thank John for his wisdom and experience, and more importantly for doing this work with care and calm in a way that kids can hear. That was the best part, my kids heard it and understood.”

Boy, 14

“Feeling insecure makes me depressed. I used to just lock myself in my room and then started watching porn to feel better, but it made me more depressed. I wanted to talk to someone but its so weird. It (The Third Talk) helped me talk about my feelings and I’m no longer all that depressed.”

Mom of an 8 y/o, 10 y/o boy and 11 y/o boy

“John brought my children and I closer together with real talk about a real problem for our young people; my young people! They are likely going to see it, but armed with the right knowledge, they can reject it.” (Did not speak with the 8 y/o)

Dad of a 15 y/o boy and 17 y/o boy

“My kids and I talk about everything now. Someone tries to watch pornography around my kids, they shut it down and they tell me. Thank you John, for making us aware of this growing problem! My kids are going to be much healthier adults now that they have the right information to choose what is and what is not good for them on their own. He shared ‘why’ kids shouldn’t want to see it and that was the most valuable for them and for me.”

Mom of a 14 y/o boy

“Go to the site. Just read the studies, resources and testimonials. Then call John and schedule an appointment. You’ll be glad you did!”

Boy, 12

“I’ve never seen pornography and now that I know what it is, I don’t ever want to.”

Parent of a 13 y/o boy and a 16 y/o girl

“Not long after seeing John speak at my son’s school, my son came home and told me about his friend whose mom let him use her computer when she’s not around. I now know that an innocent search can produce some really damaging stuff. We talked about it and he’s not allowed to hang out with that friend unless the computer isn’t around. Period.”

Girl, 14

“I wish The Third Talk could visit every school so kids and parents will know how to avoid it! Especially the boys.”

Mom of three boys 7, 12 and 14

“John makes this really difficult conversation easy, and dare I say, fun! He’s funny and calm and just understands that good parenting means not overreacting. It’s not our kid’s fault that this stuff is out there, but we have to talk about it because it is out there.” (Did not speak with the 7 y/o)

Girl, 13

“Now that I know what pornography is, I don’t want to talk to boys who watch it. I will talk to them, though, if they don’t watch it.”


“I have four kids and my husband and I work. John is an indispensable resource for this conversation. Finding the time is hard but finding the right way to talk about it had proved impossible; at least we never had the conversation ourselves. He made it painless, truly easy, and we are all the better for it.”

Girl, 14

“I don’t want to grow up too fast, but I do want to date and have fun. It (The Third Talk) has given me the confidence to talk about the sex things. I don’t want boys treating me like the girls in the porn movies.”

Dad to a 12 year old boy

“It really is all about communication. I attended John’s talk at our school and I’m glad I did. This is something we can now talk about at home. I had no idea what to expect, and I also knew I had no idea how to talk to my kids about it. I’m glad I went!”

Boy 15

“It was weird at first talking about porn with a grown up, but he was funny and it wasn’t so bad.”

Mom to an 11 year old girl, a 14 year old boy and a 15 year old boy

“Thank you! Having Hannah there was amazing!!!We need to have this be a mandatory part of Sex-Ed in Schools so all kids can hear it!”

Boy 15

“Porn can mess you up. I kinda knew that but listening to Mr. Van Arnam made me think about it differently. I don’t want my younger brother or sisters watching it.”

Dad to a 11 year old girl

“Thank you for giving my kid, all kids, the language they can use to avoid this topic in schools. This has to be a part of all healthy relationship conversations, and any discussion surrounding that. Thank you!”

Girl 14

“In some ways it’s really gross to just watch porn and think that’s what girls are like. I’m not like that, and boys who think I am can just stay away. My Mom and Dad made me go to hear this thing (The Third Talk) but I am really glad I went.”


“Thank you so much for your time and experience. Hearing your talk, I now wonder why we haven’t heard about this before now. It’s not scary for me anymore, it is a part of our children’s life, like drinking and smoking will be. Parents need to talk about this altogether. You should have a talk for 11 and under, 12-15y/o and over 15! Do you have that already? I think you should have 3 separate talks so everyone can hear this.”

Boy 11

“Its so weird to hear a grown up talk about it (porn), cause no one ever did. He says all the words but it didn’t seem too bad.”