There are a lot of problems that come with watching porn. Meeting and getting to know someone else is a skill, and it’s so much harder than doing a search and streaming a video.
People who view porn often find they aren’t very motivated to get out and meet people, to get to know someone and find a potential partner.
This is an issue for adults, and the ramifications of watching porn go deeper for teens.
As they move through puberty, teen brains are being rewired to focus on social relationships and sexuality. There’s a good reason for this: The curiosity and drive to engage in sexual experimentation can only be fulfilled if you build a relationship with a partner.
Navigating another person’s wants and needs is no small task! The sexual drive motivates teens to learn the social skills they’ll need for partnership.
Those communication and relationship skills are essential. They’re skills we use in our families, in the workplace, and especially in intimate relationships.
Puberty is the time when we learn those skills – unless the sexual drive is disconnected from the need to build relationships. If a young person turns to porn instead of their peers, there’s less of a need to develop relationship skills.
Remember how confusing it was to figure out what your first partner wanted and needed from you? Turning to the internet is so much easier. No guessing. No awkward moments. No rejection. All the sex you want.
They are the ones who need the most practice at relationship skills, and it’s a tough mountain to climb. It’s so much easier for them to get their needs met through porn.
That’s a vicious circle. The longer it takes for that kid to learn those skills, the less likely they are to partner with a peer. They simply fall behind. Watching porn becomes a habit. Without the skills to woo a partner, porn becomes the only option.
The best thing you can do for your child is to help them avoid that trap.
Make it a priority to talk with your child about pornography. Need some quick tips? Get The Parent’s Guide.
